Newly Corporate

Yes, it’s true, I have recently taken a major step in my life and asked my girlfriend to marry me.  As part of this process, I went through what most men do: the search for the perfect ring.  Based on my girlfriend’s answer to my proposal (Yes!) and all the positive feedback I have received on the ring post-proposal, I figured I would share what worked for me.  No yes-answer guarantees but, here are my tips on a purchase that can be pretty daunting.

1. Decide whether you want it to be a surprise or you want to go shop with her.  Being old fashioned, I wanted to surprise her and pick it out myself.  However, it is very easy to just go shopping with her to make sure she gets exactly what she wants (and you won’t need most of the rest of these tips).

2. Do some reconnaissance work with her friends and siblings.  As awkward as it is, go ask what her friends/siblings know about her taste in rings.  Would she like white gold/yellow?  Smaller diamonds or a bigger solitaire? Thick band or thin?  Keep in mind though, the more people you ask  and the earlier you ask them the more likely they are to accidentally tell her something.  Loose lips sink ships/give away plans as they say.  Also, if you are lucky enough to have a female sibling that can definitely help, I had two great advisors and hand models in my sisters.

3. Compare apples to apples (as often as possible).  I am not going to go into the 4 Cs spiel because you’ll hear it a million times but, do your best when shopping to get prices on a number of permutations of the 4 Cs (ie bigger but lower clarity vs smaller with higher clarity, good vs ok cut, etc) and then check those specifically rated diamonds across a few stores and online.  Keep in mind the gemologist that rated the diamonds as well, some are more lenient (ie give higher ratings) then others.

Beware: Online diamond searches often start with lower quality and lower prices until you filter them, this can make you think they have much better deals then other stores you visit.  Make sure you filter the diamond stores to a specific color/cut/clarity/carat for price comparison. When I used this method I found they were somewhat comparable to many brick and mortar stores.

4. Don’t pay too much for specially cut diamonds.  Every major diamond store has their “special” type of diamond (“Hearts Desire”, “Peerless”, “The Leo Diamond”, etc) with more cuts, more “fire”, more sparkle, etc.  You may like them better and if you think they look better and you can get them at a good price go for it!  However, keep in mind that this is the way diamond stores try to differentiate themselves and remove the view that their diamonds are a commodity that can be easily compared to others.  They do this to try to increase margin and decrease your “Apples to Apples” comparison ability.

5. Throw the rules out the window, base your decision on her taste and your budget.  The 3 months salary rule was established by the diamond industry, only you know what you can afford.  Don’t let a salesperson up sell you into something that will put you under so much financial strain that you won’t be able to enjoy your engagement.  Ultimately it comes down to you and your fiancée to be, if you are happy and she is happy you’re set.

Bonus: Check out Brandon A’s post “Engagement Ring: Consideration or Gift?” on the tax and legal implications of engagement rings.

Have you gone through this process as a young professional?  Or are you a woman with tips to share?  Please drop us a comment!