Comments on: What’s in a name? Thoughts on name changing for young professional women

By: Nate

Nate — Tue, 07 Oct 2008 16:43:46 +0000

Why would anyone want to get married?

By: Jen Rutsky

Jen Rutsky — Thu, 02 Oct 2008 15:43:02 +0000

I got married a little over a year ago and faced the same conundrum. I was always Jen Newman, Jenny Newman; it was one word the way some people pronounced it. I lived in relative anonymity on the web, because if you go ahead and Google “Jen Newman” millions of hits come up, it couldn’t be a more common name. Now go ahead and Google “Jen Rutsky”, those 4 hits are me. I was very partial to keep Newman. My sister and I are the last with the name and I didn’t want to see it die. However, my husband felt very strongly that it would be an affront to him and his family if I didn’t take his name. I also did want my kids to have the same last name as me, so I changed it. Was it an easy and fun process? Not at all, I still have one credit card that just seems impossible to change but it made him happy. Moreover, that’s what marriage is about, compromise, and respecting one another’s opinions and feelings.

A few pointers I’ll leave you with:
1. When I got married, even though I legally changed my name to Jen Rutsky, I had my company’s IT group leave me in the directories and email distribution lists as Jen Newman Rutsky so people could still find me. Your IT group may be willing to do the same.
2. On facebook, linkedin, etc. I am listed as Jen Newman Rutsky too, so old friends and colleagues can still find me.
3. On my resume I have Jennifer Rutsky (nee Newman) so for background checks, references, etc. it makes life easier.
4. I changed jobs 8 months after I got married (as I imagine you will one day too). At my new job, I am only known as Jen Rutsky and it’s been a very easy clean transition.

By: Milena Thomas

Milena Thomas — Wed, 01 Oct 2008 03:58:05 +0000

Jennifer - I married last year, and I lost my father just weeks after my wedding. He was terminally ill, so I knew he was going to pass and I also knew I was going to change my name. It was an incredibly difficult choice - especially hearing my father call me Mrs. Thomas the first time.

I decided to hyphenate my middle name and adopt my husband’s last name, and I am happy with the result. I get to keep my father’s name and I get to take my husband’s name which was important to me as well. I found this was the best solution for me, and I hope you are happy with whatever choice you make - there is no wrong answer.

By: Lindsay

Lindsay — Tue, 30 Sep 2008 20:34:10 +0000

I am a young (26) female professional who was married in January. Due to previous positions I’ve held, I decided that if I met someone and they Googled me with the new name, they wouldn’t find anything. Regrettably, that is a big part of how networking works in my industry (media in LA). So, professionally, I still use my maiden name. Legally and with family, I took my husband’s name.

It has worked out pretty well thus far. The best part is that if you keep the maiden name on your driver’s license along with your married name, you don’t have to be as aggressive about changing all of your bills, documents, etc. For instance, airline frequent flier programs are nightmarish about trying to change your name. So, I stick with my old name and buy tickets under my old name. I’ve not had problems.

By: Tiffany Derville Gallicano

Tiffany Derville Gallicano — Tue, 30 Sep 2008 03:18:49 +0000

Another consideration is changing your user names online. I just went through the process. For a review, see http://prpost.wordpress.com/2008/08/27/which-social-media-sites-made-the-grade-for-easy-name-changes/

By: Angela

Angela — Sat, 27 Sep 2008 14:16:15 +0000

Hi Jennifer, This certainly can be a difficult decision. For me, though, it really wasn’t difficult. I kept my last name because, well, it’s my last name and I never had any intention of changing it. My husband is 100% fine with it. He’s occasionally called Mr. Marino, which can be kind of funny… for me.

And, yes, my kids will have a different last name. To me, this is a non-issue. It’s funny that we would expect our daughters to change their name eventually anyway but when they’re young, we feel we have to match their names.

Honestly, I would like to see more women keep their last name, but I completely understand that this a personal decision, and I agree you have to do what’s right for you and your partner.

By: Brandon Alsup

Brandon Alsup — Thu, 25 Sep 2008 18:53:58 +0000

I have been married since July. Up until school started a month ago I would freak out my new wife by calling her Mrs. Alsup (she has a been a teacher for a few years and everyone knew her as Ms. Maiden Name)! man she hated that! oh well, she has moved on and slowly all the students will know her as Mrs. Alsup.

By: Kristi

Kristi — Mon, 22 Sep 2008 17:21:22 +0000

Personally I am excited to change my last name. Itis Hill which is boring and so not fun to doodle. I don’t even have a boyfriend so I wont be changing it anytime soon, but i know my brother and parents will still have it so I will still be going to “Hill Holiday” (christmas, easter, thanksgiving, etc) even when I am married with a different last name.

As for worries in finding you professionally if you change your name - have an auto reply on emails, leave a message on your voicemail, etc. It wont take long for people to change your contact info. If you work in a big company maybe you could be listed with both your currentand previous last name?

By: Jennifer Robinson

Jennifer Robinson — Mon, 22 Sep 2008 12:53:01 +0000

Thanks for the feedback, so far Ladies! It helps to know I’m not alone in trying to figure out what to be called once I’m married.

I hope this post helps other young professional women that need help figuring out what to do!

Keep the comments coming!

By: Natalie

Natalie — Fri, 19 Sep 2008 22:49:28 +0000

First — congratulations!!

As for the name change, I got married a little over a year ago…and I didn’t want to change it because my maiden name was what my byline had been for years.

I hyphenated for a week — but it’s a mouthful for sure. And I just kept thinking that my personal life and marriage is more important to me than my career (otherwise I shouldn’t be getting married, right? hehe). I want the same last name as my kids — and you can’t really separate your personal life from your professional life so that would really confuse people (for me anyway.)

It helped because we moved out of state a week after we got married. So we were the newlyweds and everyone just knew me as married. And since I started at a new paper with a new byline, I didn’t think about it.

It is super hard to get used to though!! I still think “is that me they are calling” when I hear my new last name!