Comments on: Workplace Relationships: How do you choose your friends at work?

By: blair

blair — Tue, 19 Jan 2010 19:04:27 +0000

I just recently stumbled upon this site and I find it very useful. Your article is a good read. It’s obvious that you are drawing an illustration to personality types that can be found in the workplace and you did say that those are the extremes so I dont see the point of the negative comments that some made.

Good job on the article!

By: stetoscope

stetoscope — Fri, 29 Aug 2008 09:15:06 +0000

Quite hard to draw social categories !
But I did not catch the goal of your post? What is the idea after describing categories?

By: Brandon Alsup

Brandon Alsup — Wed, 27 Aug 2008 21:36:19 +0000

I did not mean to offend you either Natalie.

To explain myself further for you and other people I said the “settler” is the person that married young yes. But… I did say later that almost no one is everything of one of the characteristics but are a make up of several of them.

Being married doesn’t necessarily mean you have any of the “settler” in you. I just plainly used an example from my life. I know an individual that immediately after college married and that became their life, work was way down on their priorities (and I am not judging whether this is right or wrong either). Clearly that is not you.

I hope this explains my further.

I am married also (just had our one month! yay) and I am by no means a settler, my wife and I often only see each other at bedtime. (that is the important time anyway

I’m enjoying the convo here, should help me be more careful about the words/examples I pick!

By: Natalie

Natalie — Wed, 27 Aug 2008 21:23:39 +0000

I take offense to being told that just because I’m married that I’m going to skip out on putting in the extra mile.
Clearly you’ve never been married. Or maybe you’ve never had a long term relationship. I don’t know.

A successful marriage is much like a start up company. There are debits and credits to a newly created account. There are goals to make that demonstrate profitability — i.e. buying a house.

Because I am managing a corporation at home as well as my career — I work hard at my job and meet my deadlines so that I can make it home on time. Because I meet my deadlines, my coworkers don’t have to stay late because of me.

Besides, I’m more grounded and dependable because I have responsibility. I’m not going to show up at work hungover, or decide to skip out on life for a day. I can’t, I have a husband who depends on me. For so many single people, their job is their only committment and they easily let that go by the wayside.

Sorry, this is long, but we married people are married for a reason. Sure, I got married young — but that’s because I’m wonderful. haha

By: Brandon Alsup

Brandon Alsup — Wed, 27 Aug 2008 20:27:42 +0000

I’m sorry you were offended. There is nothing inherently negative about the term “settling” but you seem to view it as negative. Why? Would you have felt better if I said young male?

Also, I am merely trying to convey the type of person that is very family oriented. Someone who isn’t that interested in making friends in the office and is content with their current friends and family. Maybe there is another term I could have used other than “settler.” I suppose it was first to come to mind.

I also state later in the post that no one is the exact to the examples I gave, but a combo of several characteristics.

One can argue to an extent getting married right out of college is settling down. It doesn’t mean you can’t also be a hard worker?

By: EBoyle

EBoyle — Wed, 27 Aug 2008 19:00:36 +0000

Being a young, married, professional woman has absolutely nothing to do with settling in any way. I resent that you chose to use that as an example and suggest you rethink using such specifics in an example.