Comments on: Don’t Take it Personal, it’s only business: being honest to others and yourself.

By: Nunya

Nunya — Thu, 17 Nov 2011 16:55:57 +0000

I believe when it comes to disagreements with fellow employees, you really shouldn’t take it personal, depending on the disagreement. i.e. how best to do a job, if a certain employee does less work than the rest, certain employees showing up for work late or not showing up at all so other employees pick up the slack, I look at situations of conflict as an opportunity to say it is just business, so as to not let my personal feelings or emotions get involved. I promote a professional demeaner, yes, business is very personal, but it’s all how you look at it. To me, it’s my job, not my life. Do I take my job and reputation seriously? Yes, in so far as it affects me at work, not at home. Other employees slacking off? I don’t care, they’re making me look good. I’ll gladly pick up their slack and let them write their own professional eulogy, as for me, I’ll take the credit for doing their work. I think the statement ‘don’t take it personal, it’s business is true in that light. More to the point, ‘take it personal, keep it professional.’ That goes hand in hand with how you interact with co-workers and supervisors and vice versa. Is it ok for a supervisor to scream and yell? No, it isn’t, it’s too personal, unprofessional, and fosters a hostile work environment. It inhibits creativity and quality of work. Trust is misplaced or not given or returned. However, if a supervisor mentors, is critical of your work, pushes you hard, they are teaching you and helping you learn and succeeed. Lastly, friendships formed in the workplace should seperate that personal relationship with their professional relationship no matter how good of friends they are. They should be respectful of their friend’s professional goals. For example, if a friend is promoted and becomes the boss, a friend should expect no more or less from them at work than any other supervisor. Friends need to respect eachother at work but show no favor towards eachother to avoid a conflict of interest which ultimately hinders a person’s reputation and career goals.

By: Paul Sargent

Paul Sargent — Fri, 15 Apr 2011 20:40:46 +0000

Not agree though. There are circumstances your business is not totally controlled by you, although you may be the main responsible. When sometimes your business mess up, your business partners or clients may be complaining about how the work is not being finished the way they expected. BUT, they may still very much appreciate your hard work, your professionalism, and your enthusiasm. In this scenario, they may harshly criticize and try to push forward, but don’t take it personal, it is not about you, it is about the business. Yes, business is business, you can fight in business but still maintain good relationship afterward. Don’t take it personal, buddy.

By: Raine

Raine — Tue, 02 Dec 2008 08:15:21 +0000

I think it’s somewhat true, just my own experience though.
When I first started my business, if the customers criticize my works, I feel as if they are attacking me myself. And I would defend “myself” with all I have, because it’s me. After losing lost of money and time, finally I met a customer who told me “don’t take it personal” before he started criticizing my work. And I think it opened my eyes. I now separate myself from my works, I know my work is part of “me”, but I know when they criticize my work they don’t mean to criticize me. It feels way better when you think of it that way, and it allows you to be open-mind to new ideas and suggestions.

By: Brandon Alsup

Brandon Alsup — Wed, 16 Apr 2008 12:44:57 +0000

@ Michel – Thanks for the comment. As for taking a broad layoff personally, i think that hints to my relative statement. Laying off 10,000 people may not be very personal, but it is slightly. It does at least mean you were in the first 10,000 to go. The only way I can see it not personal is if they went out of business and every employee was gone! But maybe I’m competitive and always want to be the best! Thanks again.

@ Dan – I never thought of it as good interpersonal skills but you have a good point. Good managers would know how to avoid saying things like that! Thanks!

@ Alison – A lot of us put our heart and our soul into our work. especially while we are young and may not have family’s of our own. Learning to take constructive criticism is one of the greatest skills you should learn from a young age. Thanks for the comment.

By: Alison

Alison — Wed, 16 Apr 2008 04:04:14 +0000

Thanks for the post, Brandon. As a brand-new, one-person business, I have a hard time refraining from pouring my entire heart and soul into my job, and in the services I offer to folks. It may be uncomfortable, but I agree: it’s better to hear the constructive criticisms that continue making the same mistakes in ignorance.

By: Dan

Dan — Wed, 16 Apr 2008 02:54:17 +0000

I agree with Brandon. You just shouldn’t use the phrase “don’t take it personal”. You should have the necessary interpersonal skills and negotiating skills to never need to say this. And if someone says it to you, it just means they lack those skills – how can you take offense to a comment from someone of lesser skills? Rule number one: never be offended by a n00b.

By: Michel Savoie

Michel Savoie — Tue, 15 Apr 2008 12:25:47 +0000

Firstly, I feel that my job is very personal. I spend more time at work than doing anything else, and I enjoy it very much. That being said, I think when I’m told not to take it personally, it’s a great opportunity to internalize the feedback and make it personal. I think a more appropriate statement would be “Don’t take offense to this, it’s an opportunity to self-improve.” At least that is how I see it.

A scenario where I wouldn’t take it personally: Broad sweeping lay-offs… I.E. “You and 10 000 other people have been let go. Don’t take it personally.” I wouldn’t take offense to that. It really is just business.