Getting Past No: Negotiations For Generation Y
I finished Getting Past No by William Ury a couple weeks ago and was able to apply it so quickly to my negotiation style that I was too busy practicing and reaping the benefits to write a post on it. This book is packed with timeless advice on not only how to “get past no” in any flavor of conflict but, to do it in a manner that leaves every party satisfied. Impossible you say? Give it a read the next time you visit the library. I am definitely buying it as reference.
The book itself does a great job of communicating how to approach negotiating in language that anyone can understand, despite William Ury’s position in Harvard Law School’s Program on Negotiation. However, rather than break this book down further, I have applied the 5-point core strategy of Getting Past No to help resolve a specific Generation Y conundrum below.
The Situation
In many workplaces, Generation Y employees tend to demand or expect more benefits or flexibility earlier than their Generation X or Boomer peers. Whether this is born out of a sense of entitlement or actual evidence of accelerated accomplishment, managers often immediately respond negatively, sometimes taking offense at the relatively new employees’ seemingly outrageous demands.
For a friend of mine, this recently took the form of her new manager objecting to her request for another vacation day. Here is the Getting Past No process as we applied it:
1. Go to the Balcony
After having her vacation day objected to, my friend originally reacted with indignation but luckily withdrew herself from the conversation. She “went to her Balcony” which in this case happened to be a Dim Sum lunch to talk it through. She was frustrated because she had done a ton of work helping others who were on vacation over Christmas and was very offended this manager was “micromanaging” her and not valuing the work she did.
By taking the chance to cool off and think through the situation, she avoided what could have been a nasty escalation when both sides got defensive.
2. Step to Their Side
After she had stepped back, I suggested she try to think through the situation from her manager’s side. He was new so, he didn’t know how many extra hours she put in or how hard she works, all he knew was the current situation and his requirements, not to mention his desire not to be seen as a “pushover”.
Once she saw it from his side, she was better able to deal with the disagreement.
3. Reframe
Over our final Dim Sum dish, we worked out a strategy to “Reframe” the issue to her boss. She went to her teammates and one of her other managers to confirm that the correct vacation request process had been fulfilled and pulled together the evidence of her extra work. She then presented the information to her boss, successfully communicating the whole background behind the dispute.
4. Build Them a Golden Bridge
Even with all the additional information, she wanted to be sure the manager would accept her vacation request. So, she built him a “golden bridge”, an easy out that allowed him cede to her request while still maintaining a performance driven persona. She laid out a contingency plan for any tasks that would normally go to her and confirmed alternate workers willing to make sure nothing was delayed due to her absence. This allowed the manager to save face and achieved her end goal as well.
5. Use Power to Educate
In this example, the protagonist didn’t have to fully exercise her “Power to Educate” to finalize the negotiation. She didn’t have to explain her BATNA or Best Alternative To Negotiated Agreement but, she very clearly educated her manager on the vacation approval process and detailed how she met it. This implies implicit consequences for him if he demands she work after following protocol. If this process escalated, the power to educate could have been used more more explicitly, thankfully it was not needed.
William Ury provides many more priceless examples and strategies for using this negotiation models. My good friend Daniel worked through parts of it in law school and I can personally attest to it’s relevancy not only in today’s business environment but in any dispute on a personal or professional level.
This book is recommended as one of the 15 Books for Rogue Professionals and How to Read them Fast at No Cost.
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Tags: Career Development, Generation Y, Negotiation, Vacation, Young Professional
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January 10th, 2008 at 4:56 pm
This book is part two of a three-part series. I also recommend “Getting to Yes” and “The Power of a Positive No”. This stuff is required reading in classes on negotiation and mediation. Remember, though, that reading the books will not make you a good negotiator. A key component to successful negotiation is creativity. These books don’t teach creativity, they simply show you a framework. It is your job to be smart and plug in creative solutions to the framework.
January 11th, 2008 at 10:07 am
It’s frustrated… not frusterated. Like what I’ve read on your site so far, don’t like the lack of spell check. Come on Gen Y’er, use your technology!
January 11th, 2008 at 10:40 am
Corrected. Thanks for the spell check Sarah! When you’re trying to fit blogging into a packed work schedule one or two slip by every now and then. Thanks for the tip though and we will continue to strive for flawless performance.
January 31st, 2008 at 11:36 am
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