Do you know what to do after college?
Recently while at a high school friends wedding, I was chatting with an old friend and his girlfriend, both recent graduates of a very prestigious mid-western school. The girlfriend gave a comment that was puzzling to me.
“Most kids our age (24) don’t know what they want to do with their lives.”
Is this true? Should this be true? To be honest, this was after the wedding the next morning and I was in no shape to have a philosophical discussion on the topic over crappy hotel coffee and a dried croissant. So I let the topic soak a while and I came to some conclusions on my own.
One of the biggest negatives of college and secondary education is it postpones adulthood. Kids now see the transition from high school to college much the way they do middle school to high school. This is bad. What this does is allow kids to wander through the next 4-6 years of their life before they enter the “real world.” Many kids choose majors that interest them like Biology, Art History, Film, etc..
Not that there is anything wrong with those majors, they are certainly worthy and needed in many industries. But the fact is, the majority of students that choose them, are not looking at the practicality of the major, they haven’t set goals, or even considered seriously what they want to do (why should they, they are still in school right? (sarcasm)). Next, once they graduate, they find themselves lost, wait I’m sorry, “too young to know what they want to do yet”.
I should have challenged the girl who said that. Of the 5 of us at the table, 3 (who did not go to a prestigious Midwestern school) had chosen our careers and aspirations for many years now. Maybe I’m being to hard, maybe I can’t see her point of view because my set of friends are similar to me? Maybe I am to pessimistic?
Post-College Depression is becoming an issue of children that go through 19+ years of schooling and still can’t cope with the realities of life. Not to sound like a parent or grandparent, but many of our seniors didn’t have a choice, they were forced to enter the “real-world” many at ages far junior to me and you.
Does our generation’s boomerang contribute to the problem? Ryan Healy of Employee Evolution wrote for Penelope Trunk’s blog:
But when you look closely, it is glaringly apparent that moving back in with parents is one of the the most responsible things a new college grad can do. By sucking it up at home for a year or two, young people give themselves the opportunity to take control of their career, take control of their finances and transition from the care-free college fantasy world to the real-world of work, marriage, kids, mortgages and car payments.
As much as I respect Ryan and I see his point, I can’t disagree more with the idea of moving back home after college. Sure is some cases it is fiscally necessary, in other cases, if done right, can be done as an adult and in autonomy. But in many cases in my non-scientific observation of friends of mine, its no good, moving back home only delays true adult hood even further.
Now this post sure doesn’t answer many questions, it doesn’t even propose a solution, but I wanted to bring up observations I have noticed. Am I a few hens short in my coop? Hopefully the answers will come.
In the meantime, I’ll continue to ask my cousins and friends still going through college what their goals are and challenge them to really make decisions about their life, the hard decisions that many don’t want to make.
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You ask some good questions. Something that perplexes me is the amount of people that I went to college with– at a private school– who now work in grocery stores and retail. Why would you spend $50K on an education and then not push yourself to succeed? Do these people not pay their own student loan bills? Are they not modivated for something better?
I agree with most of this post, except that we should have our majors chosen and know what we’re going to do with our lives in college. I don’t know what I want to do with my life per say, but I know that I want it to be great and I want to have multiple careers. The type of Bachelor’s degree you hold is no longer an issue for this, it’s just important that you hold a college degree. And really, that’s good, because it allows us the freedom to explore. What encourages the quarter-life crisis, however, is that for some, the freedom to explore contains too many choices and we feel overwhelmed.
I don’t think the issue lies with students going to college simply to delay adulthood; I genuinely believe most go to better themselves and prepare for life beyond college. The problem is that during those college years, many students are set up with false expectations and (often) unrealistic goals of what to expect in the years immediately following graduation. As a young professional, I’m often surprised by the sense of entitlement expressed by my peers. But why shouldn’t they feel entitled?
Four years (or in many cases, longer) where 12-15 hours of class per week is considered “full time”? When else in life do you get to live within a 12 block radius of all your friends, go out and stay out until all hours with relatively little consequence? Many of these students have parents who proudly pick up the tab without a second thought.
I am not suggesting there’s anything wrong with the system. I loved my college years and wouldn’t trade them for anything in the world (who didn’t?), but I do think it sets students up for a shock when it comes to trading class and kegs for work and bills.
This attitude is perpetuated by “actual” adults. It’s a combination of financing Never-Never Land for their kids and telling them that they “don’t have to know yet.” This is one of the worst things that advisers, parents, mentors, and fellow students casually state to one another when in fact the opposite is true.
@ Jenson – I think you are right, most don’t pay. I know alot who do pay, but I know a whole lot more that don’t pay. I always felt the best answer was somewhere inbetween. Parents should help out, but the kid needs to carry their half too! Thanks!
@Rebecca – Maybe your right that the degree doesn’t matter. I guess I always correlate your degree with your goal. Maybe I should be concerned with people setting goals in life more so than a major. example… Yes I’m majoring in Biology that will be sorta pointless but I know I want my career to be workig missions in Africa… Thanks!
@Cboyd – I like the point that we have poor expectations of life after college. Does this go back to the parents that never really showed their kids what “real life” will be like? Or is it the colleges for not preparing kids for post-graduation? Thanks for the comment.
@ Katie – Never-Never Land is a great way to put it. To many kids see college as “the greatest years of their life” and do try to live it to the fullest, but maybe they need to realize some balance and perspective. Not to mention if I reached the Greatest Years of my life in my early 20’s kinda makes the rest of life depressing… Thanks!
brandonA, I don’t think it’s fair to assume the responsibility falls with the parents or the university. The individual’s success is dependent the fact that they will independently come to the realization that it is their own responsibility to prepare for life after college. A student shouldn’t assume that parents, or college classes alone are going to give him or her everything needed to prepare for life in the real world.
That being said, I do think there are steps parents and colleges can take to help the process. As brought up in Jenson and Katie’s comments, parents financing their child’s entire education can be a detriment to their success in the long run, but I don’t believe that’s always the case. My parents wholly funded my education, but I used the time I would’ve invested in a part-time job to get involved on campus, network, and serve on executive boards for student organizations. Those experiences were much more rewarding than a barely above minimum wage campus job, and ultimately, set me up for greater success. On the flipside, I’ve seen juniors in college who still mail their laundry home and more cases of classic “helicopter parents” then I care to admit… (see http://www.careerjournal.com/columnists/workfamily/20050729-workfamily.html for a laugh).
Thanks for the thought-provoking post. I think it’s natural that some people know what they want and others don’t. What bothers me is when college students or recent grads complain about their situation or stay frozen in place. It is up to you to plot your own career path and often it takes a few experiences (and a few mistakes) to really figure out what you want to do. Parents, universities, bloggers and books can help, but ultimately you have to do the legwork.
One of the messages I like to promote is that the job you take after college is not a lifelong commitment. Most people will have multiple careers, so all you need to do in college is make a choice you can live with for a few years.
Looking forward to reading more comments about this topic!
Lindsey Pollak
http://lindseypollak.blogspot.com
Lindsey – Great point that your first job is not a lifelong commitment. Although I loyalty has slowly gone out the window in this society, and that is sad, maybe informing college kids of this fact would be beneficial to them. Knowing that they are not lifelong committed could reduce some stress of leaving the parents and college. Thanks!
Cboyd – Great link, it is a very interesting link, I have defiantly seen that happen in my 4 years of school, not so much in B School, but I assume by the time you are in Grad school for Business you grow out of most things, otherwise you wouldn’t be there. but I digress.. I like at the end where the university teaches the parents to let go! I wonder if in the future there will be a coddling backlash in our generation or the generation after ours? I can give in that it is probably not the universities responsibility to teach kids to stand on their own after graduation, but I find it hard not blame it on the parents. I do believe some things are nature and some are nurture. Knowing how to make decisions and stand on your own feet are greatly influenced by your upraising. But in the end, parents can only give you and show you how to use the tools, they can’t make you use them. I guess I assume, if you have the tools, you’ll use them, but that may be naive of me. Thanks for the discussion.
Yes! I couldn’t agree more. I thought I was the only one who felt this way, but I’m glad to see there are other millennials who agree we shouldn’t continue to live on our parent’s buck after college (haven’t they done enough?) I would probably write more but you’ve already made many excellent points here. Thanks for this post, I’m a new subscriber.
Yes we are forced to go to school when we were younger because we had no other choice. Now in college, we now have choices. Sadly we bury ourselves in comfort and graduation without direction becomes our result. There’s a reason for this: the low economy, high rent prices, expensive way of living to name a few. Then we have our own dreams and desires that sadly never came true and probably never will (like becoming a millionaire before 30). I believe the best thing to do is to go whatever life takes you. I admit that I want my dreams to come true but life has too many twists and far too many tables turn around so what I do is to simply build my future adult life around my current and past situation.
I see this all the time with my friends, I am really the only one who is still in school, at the same time I am the only one motivated for the future. Now we didn’t come from much different families, we grew up in the same houses and went to the same primary schooling, I would even argue that they may be slightly wealthier and their parents may have slighlty more upscale jobs. So what is the difference? I have found that at my college particularly the students are far more focused and ready for the future….then again most students go to the school for their co-op program. I do agree that most early twenty somethings have no clue and I would argue it’s partially because of tv shows these days showing our age group not working and driving BMW’s and the like…not saying it’s not possible but not the way shown on TV. The lack of motivation of people in our age group not only frustrates me becuase I want to see people work hard for something BUT at the same time I’m happy about it deep down inside (cynical side) because I realize that those are X number of people I won’t have to compete with for my job and I will succeed that much faster by having people compare me to them…it’s almost like a catch 22.
@ Monica – Thanks! P.S. I tagged you in my most recent post! enjoy.
@ Emily – Thanks for the comments. However, I just can’t see the low economy, high rent, and cost of living as contributing to this drifting problem. The economy is not that bad, and cheap rent and living is to be found everywhere, you just have to look!
Your right though unrealistic goals definitely don’t help anything but de-motivate and discourage! Thanks again.
@ Michael – I think your on to something here. If we do control our environment, where we come from, socioeconomic etc… we can begin to narrow down where the issue is coming from. Parents? TV? Government? Professors? I do disagree that “Most early twenty somethings” are drifting out of college. I do feel alot are, but definitely not most, but maybe I am optimistic. And lastly, I definitely have thought what you were thinking, it definitely limits the competition. However, we don’t want it to so far to inhibit economic growth and prosperity! Thanks for comments!
It’s a touchy subject, really. Especially for those who tend to be self-critical, which I’m guessing, are the ones who are much more prone to post college depression. I think it’s best not to have to move back in with mom and dad as it is aids us in seeing ourselves as independent adults, and is a good sign for continued success.
People need to be thinking about their futures before they happen. Juniors in college ought to be considering what life after college will entail. Don’t wait, it’s a dog-eat-dog world.
Thank you for this post! I had read Penelope Trunk’s blog and Employee Evolution for a while and always held a certain level of cynicism for their cavalier attitude towards mooching off of parents and friends until you “find yourself”. While I do think we all need to spend time figuring out what career is best suited for our skills and college does not often provide this insight, by not taking a job right out of school, you are missing out on a great opportunity to learn first hand what you like and dislike. My first job out of school was hectic, scary, in a new city. But I learned so much about myself by taking it. Moreover, I learned what I do and don’t want in a career. It’s really hard to get this type of knowledge if you spend time on the sidelines waiting for the dream opportunity instead of trying something and seeing if it works.
So I’m in college @ the moment, and I don’t feel like these have been the “best years of my life.”
I honestly don’t know how ANYONE in college can say that, because we haven’t fucking lived at all. My definition of living is traveling, meeting people that I can learn something from and find out more about myself, and generally learning about life.
All I want to do is graduate, I’m actually trying to graduate early so I can get the hell out of here and get a job and do what I really want to do. Travel. Write. DJ.
College has made me a stronger person. I will admit that. It’s hard dealing with personal shit 300 miles away from home & 5000 miles from b/f and no one to share it with, but I think if anything it’s made me more determined to say fuck it and graduate early.
I agree with you Venny. My parents forced me to go to a commuter school close to home. I worked a part-time job at a fast food restaurant and a retail store while taking classes. In other words, I had none of the crazy college experiences everyone seems to brag about.
In hindsight it was the best financial decision as I have zero student loan debt, a full-time CAREER with plenty of room for advancement, a paid off car, and a nice bachelor pad where I pay rent to my parents instead of some greedy slumlord.
If anything I am excited to be done with school and ready to start making money and living life on MY terms. Most of my peers are either in dead-end jobs, dropped out of college, in college but struggling to graduate, or graduated but realizing that their bullsh*t liberal arts/communications degree can’t even get them an interview.
Ever since I graduated high school I always had it in my mind that I would study hard so i could get a good in-demand career making good money. Most of my peers were too busy trying to be Van Wilder….now they’re realizing their not as invincible as they thought….too freaking bad I say, while you were busy getting hammered every night I studied my ass off to get that professional internship you guys thought was “boring.”
Post-college depression is bs…..its a reality wake-up call to a bunch of extended adolescents that there’s more to life than financing a 4 year drinking/partying binge. Have fun paying back those loans!
I think it’s easy to fall in the trap of indecision. For some, degrees are taking longer to earn and it seems logical to expect time to figure things out. I am a college student now and I think a lot of people are pre-occupied with procrastination. The behavior is easily reinforced because it’s acceptable and amusing to pull an ‘all-nighter’ to complete work.
My college experience is not the traditional ‘fantasy’. I spent the first two years working 30 – 40 hours per week working in an office while attending classes full-time. Even with fifteen hours of classes, I commuted, adding another five hours, plus countless hours on projects and papers. This year I’m studying abroad. My majors, my work experience, and my year abroad are geared toward my interests and enhancing my candidacy for a career in one of two industries. Endlessly waiting to ‘grow up’ is a symptom of our generation, but certainly doesn’t apply to all students.
I have not chosen a specific position I want to attain, because who knows what will even be available? Just as it is important to think about the future, we also have to remember to be flexible. Based on my majors, I have a general idea of what I want to do and where I can apply. I have plenty of friends in the same situation, likely because people in similar socio-economic classes tend to stick together, but I think people should be aware that you can find college students all along the ‘preparedness’ spectrum.