Religion At Work: Are prayers for coworkers ok?
Three of the diciest and most taboo subjects in the workplace are sex, politics and religion. BrandonA took political discussions in the workplace head on, now it’s time for religion. I would like to share a situation I struggled with in regards to religion in the workplace, the advice others gave me and my final conclusion.
The Situation
Your boss sends out an announcement that he or she has had a death in the family or are having a medical procedure. Is it kosher to reply that you will keep them in your prayers? Is it not appropriate in the business environment?
Responses From Fellow Professionals
Before I expressed any religious sentiment, I decided to reach out to some of my fellow Generation Y (and older) professionals to see what their response was. Here are their actual responses with their names replaced by their occupation due to the personal nature of religion.
“Depends how well you know them, if you know they aren’t religous I would say no. Otherwise, its fairly harmless.” - Tax Consultant
“I think it’s good to try to figure out what they believe in, but really, when it comes down to it, it’s just a nice gesture. Like…we wouldn’t be offended by someone saying ‘Happy Hanukkah’” - Public Relations Asst. Account Executive
“I usually say thoughts. I’ll keep you in my thoughts… unless you have a very close relationship tht you know they wouldn’t be offended… my boss lost her mother and I said “I”m keeping your family in my prayers” on the card because I knew she was religious.” - Public Relations Account Executive
“I definitely think it’s kosher. In a time of need, no one is upset that someone is caring/praying for them.” - Political Employee
“Kosher? I’d say it’s obligatory, unless you are lying, and you aren’t actually going to pray for him or her.” - Finance Manager and Student
“Yes. I would say that you “will be keeping her in your thoughts and prayers.” - Finance Executive
The Final Answer
Personally, I believe that it is alright to express my concern for someone’s well being by stating I will keep them in my prayers. Even if you don’t pray or aren’t religious, I think most people can understand that it is merely a way to show you care. I by no means think it is unprofessional, as long as it is a polite, brief and direct expression. I decided to include it in my email but, ultimately, it comes down to your own personal judgment and your knowledge of person.
If you have more stories or advice, please include them in the comments on this post.
Photo Credit: The Acton Institute
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Tags: Career Development, Generation Y, Management, Religion, Young Professional
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November 28th, 2007 at 5:24 pm
Interesting topic. Everyone would at my last job, working for a Christian university, but no one would at my current, a dot com startup on Capitol Hill. I think workplace context is important, and the context of your relationship with a specific employee.
To me, saying “thoughts” instead of “prayers” is just as thoughtful, potentially less awkward, and still true even if you are praying for them.
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November 29th, 2007 at 7:35 am
Brandon,
Great topic. Cassie has the right idea in saying ‘thoughts’ rather than ‘prayers,’ but there are other issues at work here.
The place this gets challenging is when you begin to look at religious diversity. I’m neo-pagan, so the term ‘prayer’ doesn’t apply very well to my construct. I think the general concept of prayer is generally innocuous enough that most people won’t have a problem with it. I certainly won’t. That said, I know some pagans, Buddhists, Atheists, and Agnostics who would have a big problem if you told them you were going to pray for them, even in such a mild manner.
I think it’s silly, but there it is. It is sad, but our culture often takes everything said from a personal standpoint and doesn’t take into account the intent or value of what’s being done. They focus on the form ‘prayer’ and not the intent ’strength for you and your family while grieving.’
I think careful consideration and attention to preference are the watchwords of the day.
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December 3rd, 2007 at 11:05 pm
I agreee that “thoughts” is a better way of phrasing it.
I’m an atheist, so I admit to feeling a small flash of annoyance when someone tells me they are keeping me in their prayers. I completely understand the thought. It’s just the assumption that everyone is religious that bugs me.
I don’t take any great offense, but it does make me uncomfortable.
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December 4th, 2007 at 9:35 am
As far as a belief system, it doesn’t matter to me what my coworkers believe. If they are comfortable enough to tell them me they had a death in the family (or whatever) and are having a tough time of it, if I were to say I’ll keep you in my prayers, it means just that. Nothing is required of them. I’m just letting them know that I’ll be thinking of them outside of work and that I care how they’re doing.
On the flip side, I have a coworker who tells me she’ll “think good thoughts for me during this time” and really all that does is make me wonder - what kind of thoughts is she thinking towards me the rest of the time?!?
December 4th, 2007 at 1:47 pm
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